Are you REALLY listening?

So, I know this person who constantly talks a mile a minute. Then again, I’m sure we all know “that person”. I consider myself a fairly good listener. After all, it’s what I do all day long. I listen to patients as they describe their aliments. With this particular person, I’ve noticed a trend. They interject personal stories into every conversation, often times off topic. We could be talking about a television show, and they may comment on their family. I may mention feeling tired, then they may go on about their weekend. Eventually, I found myself asking, “Are you really listening? Or are you thinking of your response?” I’m sure we can all relate to this experience. Our society has morphed into one that struggles with true communication.

What has caused this shift in the art of communication? I believe social media is partly to blame. It gives us a false sense of connection. Liking a photo or sending a direct message is considered a legitimate interaction. I’ve heard a unique analogy used to describe social media. It’s like a ballroom dance. Everyone gets dressed up in their flamboyant gowns and sleek tuxedos. We take pictures of the food and scenery. We daintily sit at covered tables. Yet, no one says a word or dances with each other. There’s no true interaction.

What’s the solution? It’s actually a simple one. Make an effort to listen with the goal of understanding. Be fully engaged in what someone is saying. Ask follow up questions for clarity. This shows that you’re interested in the conversation. Maybe tell of a similar circumstance that you experienced in the past. As someone with introverted tendencies, I understand the knee-jerk reaction of blurting out facts. Sometimes, it takes a deliberate effort to pause and hear what’s being said.

Being an active listener is well worth it. People will be pleasantly surprised. Your relationships will grow deeper as your friends will feel heard and valued. Opening up is risky, but it helps to knowing the other person is listening. I try to practice this with my patients each day. I let them say all that’s on their heart before assessing them. Most respond positively. They say things like, “Wow! You really listened to me!” I pray this encourages you to dig deeper in your relationships. Try active listening. You’ll be amazed at how those around you respond.

Be encouraged! 😊