So, I’ve been single for a minute. No worries, I’m not complaining because no one has time for that. It’s at the point where I can laugh at myself. For example, one guy simply walked over to my friends and I stared at each of us without saying a word. Sir! Do better! Then there are times that I’m convinced chivalry is dead. Once a guy stopped at the door and waited for me to open it. I’ll admit that I was petty opening it wide enough for me to wiggle through. Seemingly, the virus isn’t the only pandemic considering all the ghosts. Guys sliding into the DMs over the weekend, only to cease communicating during the week. Hmm? Yet there’s the conundrum that the single population is ever increasing. This brings to question where are all the guys? Better yet, why are people not coupling up? I have two theories which I’ll pose by recounting two of my experiences.
One afternoon, I went to the grocery store. Since I was on a different side of town, I ended up at one I’d never visited before. As I’m strolling through the aisles, I notice an attractive guy. He looked about my age and usual type (yes, I have no shame in admitting that). Naturally, I kept looking his way attempting eye contact so I could smile (with my eyes since I was wearing a mask). As luck would have it, I noticed him noticing me. Hold the excited, because that's where the interaction ended. To my dismay, he darted through the store in a hurry. Next thing I know, he’s gone. Sir! Slow down! If we’re both checking each other out, then pause for a second. A smile could turn into a hello. Guess now we’ll never know.
The second incident happened while I waited in line for my food. To all the singles out there, lines are your best friend. They give you the opportunity to socialize with those around you. So, I’m in line and notice an attractive guy. My attempt at eye contact failed once again. He never looked up from his phone once. Now the line wasn’t that long. What could captivate someone’s attention so much that they never look up? I wondered if he was swiping through a dating app or on social media. He was missing all the single girls (i.e., me) within his immediate vicinity.
So, here are my two theories to the single epidemic. Nowadays, people are in a hurry. We rush to pick up our food. We zip about the gym. We run out of church immediately following the last amen. Why? Time will pass the same. Might as well enjoy each moment instead of hastening towards the next. Take time to smell the roses. But in order to smell the roses, you have to look for them. My generation (millennials) and younger ones have an addiction to our phones. There is the constant fear of missing out. Seeing images of beautiful faces around the world distract from the ones across the street. There is the belief that something better is waiting around the corner. As a result, we keep our options open just in case. Or on the flip side, too many options paralyze us from choosing. Ironically, we are more connected yet isolated all in one.
The solution is simple. Slow down, and look up. Create opportunities for conversation. Leave with enough time to order your food at the restaurant and wait for it. Interact with those you encounter even if it’s a simple smile. It may not always lead to a relationship. Then again, you never know. Each opportunity opens the door.
Be encouraged! 😊
written by: Christa Martina
FB page: See Martina Write
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