This question was posed on a popular reality television show recently. On this show, couples are matched at the altar. Trusting the relationship experts, they agree to marry and start new lives together. There are a lot of nuances in the show which make it great for conversation and entertainment. On this particular episode, they asked the couples to discuss their love languages and past relationships. The goal was to encourage them to start thinking about love in their current marriage. Some believed that love takes times, for example months to years. Others chased after love as if it were some magical destination full of butterflies and roses. This caused me to consider the question as well. What is love?
Love is a choice. I don’t believe that it’s accidental as the phrase “falling in love” portrays it. There is the initial factor of attraction. This leads the girl or guy to approach the other person from the beginning. At this point, a choice is made whether to pursue a relationship. As the relationship progresses, choices are made to invest time, become vulnerable, and commit solely to that person. These deliberate actions bring two people closer together. There’s no such thing as “I just couldn’t help myself”. Since we have established that love is a conscious decision, it must be done daily. When life gets hard and people grow old, you must still choose love. Herein lies the beauty of love. Knowing that someone chose you because of the good and despite the bad is a lot more romantic than an uncontrollable fall into an emotion.
Another aspect of love is that it grows. Love must be cultivated like one would a small seeding. This was partly discussed in the paragraph above. Not only does internal decisions cause a relationship to progress, but sometimes outside factors have a positive effect. So many times, I’ve heard couples say that a certain situation brought them closer together. Both difficult and favorable seasons helped them to strengthen their love. Other times, I’ve heard couples testify that their love has grown deeper over the years. They never knew they could be more in love with this person. As a single person, I find this amazing! It reminds me of the love of God. His love is vast. The more we pursue the deeper it grows, yet there’s always more to be discovered. A godly marriage is meant to demonstrate God’s unending love towards us.
So, what is love? I believe I’ve only scratched the surface in this short post. Hopefully, this caused you to consider what love is not. It’s not something that happens accidentally. It’s not a moment in time that once reach leaves you in eternal bliss. Love is a choice. And these deliberate choices cause love to blossom into something beautiful. Not only does it spread brightly colored petals outward, its’ roots reach down deep allowing love to weather the storms of life. Whether you’re single or not, I pray that you experience such a love.
Be encouraged! 😊
Scripture References: Colossians 3:14 “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
I Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
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